Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Around and Around We Go
An amazing post by Corner Point on the subject of boxes prompted me to think about other shapes that figure prominently in my life. Thus did I come to think of circles and thus was this post born. It is not as universal or inspiring as the aforementioned one on squares. It is, in fact, quite selfish and personal. From reading other blogs, though, I have a suspicion I’m not the only one suffering from Circle-itis.
When I think of a circle, I think of repetition. I imagine an endless loop going around and around, much like the thoughts spinning through my head. As an over analyzer, I can’t let things go, and since most things I think about can’t be immediately resolved, the same thoughts keep running circles around my brain until I want to scream at them to stop and take a breather. This leads to a somewhat stressful existence composed of many sleepless nights. I’ve tried many things to stop the frenzy, but nothing has worked to date. Pretending the thoughts don’t exist lasts about 3 seconds before they pop up again. Making my mind a blank is as hard as it sounds. Writing it out usually relieves the pressure, but only temporarily, and only with certain issues. I thank G-d every day for giving me an active, busy brain and I will take the cons along with the pros any day vs. the alternative vegetative state. I just wish it didn’t come along with so much mental anguish. Perhaps I am unique in this problem, but somehow I doubt it. If anyone out there knows what I’m talking about, please tell me how you deal.
Like circles too, We tend to repeat ourselves. Even as we make the same mistakes over and over again, we recognize that we are acting to our own detriment. The outcome is known down to the last, gory detail, yet something compels us to keep at it. I guess, we all get into a cycle of behavior and the more times we go around, the deeper the groove gets, and the harder it is to break free, making the cycle of behavior part of it's own vicious cycle.
Yup. Circles definitely factor prominently in my life.