The putrid scent wafted up my nose as I sat at my computer doing very important things. When I could ignore it no longer (about 10 seconds. I have a low stink tolerance), I cautiously crept downstairs to investigate, my heart beating steadily but much too loudly as I imagined all sorts of horrors awaiting me. Images of dead rats and boiling day-old socks filled my mind. As it turned out, I wasn't that far off.
The smell seemed to be emanating from the lone, and innocent looking pot on the stove. Mindful of the potential danger involved, I carefully lifted the lid to reveal an oozing, bubbling substance not unlike what boiling day-old socks would produce. The pieces floating around on top of said liquid resembled nothing so much as little dead rats. Feeling like a witch at her cauldron, I looked down with dismay at the results of my latest culinary attempt.
Several hours earlier...
Inspired by RaggedyMom's attempt at soup making...okay, that's not actually true. I was really inspired by my latest dieting attempt. I figure lots of vegetable soup is bound to lead to lots of weight loss. Somewhat faulty logic as it neglects the many bowls of pasta in between the many bowls of soup, but I digress...
Inspired by something, I went straight from school on a vegetable shopping spree, which is about as exhilirating as it sounds. Breezing through the door, laden with packages of greeny goodness, I unpacked, and got to work. Many minutes of arduous cutting and chopping, and a great many tears later(those onions are brutal!), I was the proud owner of one bubbling, boiling, pot filled to the brim with wholesomeness. Ooh...I forgot the spices. Well, many minutes of chopping, a great many tears, and several off-the-cuff spice additions later, I surveyed my stove top masterpiece. What now...ah yes, I needed to let it simmer. Not one to waste a moment, I immediately headed for my fave pastime, blogging. After making the rounds in blogland, checking my e-mail, and taking care of several other computery stuff, I began to notice a putrid smell...
The present...
And so here I am, with a pot that contains what looks remarkably like the remains of some one's meal after it's been digested, and not sure what to do with it. Do I toss it in the garbage and risk major leakage? Do I throw it down the drain and risk major stuffage? Do I Fed-ex it to the starving children in Africa and risk severe political ramifications? What to do, what to do. I could always dump it in my backyard and claim it as a hazardous waste area.
I'm still not sure, but I would appreciate any and all suggestions. What does one do with a pot full of an inedible, and possibly toxic substance composed of gunky liquid with many sizable solid chunks floating around in it? E-mail you're suggestions to IHAVENOLIFE@blogland.com or just leave them in the comments:)
11 comments:
I say you bring it to Ezzie's and tell him it's candy.
You know, for a second there I was really gonna email you at that address! :P
I say you bring it to Ezzie's and tell him it's candy.
LOL. That's fine, I'm not the one eating the candy...!
This post was *hilarious*. Next time you come, we'll teach you how to make vegetable soup, k? :P
Hey! Soup! Let's have a soup-off with all of our collectively wilting vegetables.
You be funny. I laugh. A lot :D.
Here's an idea for next time . . . follow a recipe :P.
I like vegetable soup, but not when it's putrid.
You're a funny girl. :)
Okay, first of all GROSS!!! I was hungry...
Second, you gotta wear goggles when you chop onions. It works, and you can start a new fashion statement :P
But I really had a good laugh. Funny girl is right :-)
erachet-ha! that would have been a good idea. luckily the soup coagulated overnight and it is now food for the garbage dump. I can always make another batch;)
Ezzie-thank you, and i just might take you up on the offer. though i think i'll stick to eating what other people make from now on:)
raggedymom- lol. the sad part was, they were fresh and yummy before i got my paws all over them. and i think you would win:)
apple- thank you:) what's a recipe:P
scraps- thank you. funny, i'm not such a fan of putrid food myself. we must both be crazy:P
CP-lol. thanks. I actually usually fill my mouth with water and hold it there for the duration(it actually works!) but i was feeling lazy and let the tears flow this time:)
um...i love the comments, and the compliments but i have to say i am a little dissapointed. the only one with a suggestion was erachet. come on ppl, where's your creativity?
I know that "you're" at the end there was just to aggravate me, right?
If not, you are dangerously close to incurring a SODAPOP rally in front of your house.
MH - Save it until Purim, dress as a witch, and really get into the role. :P
sj-how did you guess?;)
ezzie-lol:)
No ideas and you probably filed it under G anyway..but I laughed..so at least you accomplished that much. And next time, follow a recipe!! I'm so sorry for your disappointment. I would have been frustrated. Here's to hoping that next time it will make up for the sorry attempt this time.
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